Well, this is probably where I feel least qualified to speak, but hey its something I’m passionate about and an area I’m wanting to grow, so why not? My hope is to use this as sort of a journal to work out my thoughts as they come to me and better see how God is working in my life as I blog about what is going on. For now, I will share my testimony.
I was born, baptized and raised Catholic. My two older brothers went to Catholic school. I went to CCD and had my first communion. From what I knew I was a Christian. I was better then those around me (You can shake your head), not smoking, or drinking, or hanging out with the “bad” crowd. That makes you saved, right? Well, I was wrong. I stopped going to church around 8th grade when I asked my mom if I should get confirmed. She asked, “What does it mean to you?” My reply, “Nothing.” “So then don’t do it.” And of course I didn’t. I tried driving out to Willow Creek a few times as a high schooler but nothing ever really stuck.
Fast forward to college where I attended a public university and met some friends that went to the Wesley Foundation. I started going regularly on Wednesday evening and continued to think I was saved. I was a nice person. People liked me and I worked hard. I would go each Wednesday and be in a better mood and took away little tidbits from hearing each college student tell a little of their story. Looking back I never heard a lot of what God had to say, only what people had to say. Well eventually I got married, in the Methodist Church, and moved on to Michigan and got plugged into another Methodist Church, but really something was always missing. Really it was something that I was missing. Sure I was “doing” everything I could. I volunteered for children’s ministry, youth ministry and choir but still I wasn’t getting it.
Finally, my husband had a friend from work invite him to a church where his dad was the pastor. We decided to give it a try. We went to the church service and then Sunday School and in the three hours we were there I heard more scripture then I had my whole life. Then I knew something was missing. There was never an “ah ha” saved moment but just a slow, steady, subtle shift. I started to ask questions like “How do I know I’m saved?” “What do I have to do to get to heaven?” Gently and patiently (I had lots of questions and still do) friends answered these questions and pointed me in the right direction.
After I became a stay at home mom I attended Bible Study Fellowship and that is where I really started to learn a lot about who God is and how he works in our lives. I began to study his word and learn about what he had to say. It wasn’t about what I could do, how nice I could be, or how much better I was then others. It was about how awful I was, how sinful, how broken. Yet despite all that brokeness God loved me and was willing to die on the cross for me and my ugliness.