Do you ever have those days that something happens to you that you never thought would happen and you are just shocked? I’m sure it can happen to all of us at one point or another and November 10 was the day for me. We were pregnant with baby #4. We have three beautiful girls ages 8, 6, and 3 and were due with baby #4 on May 10, 2016, my husbands birthday. I was 14 weeks along and had seen the heartbeat at 8 weeks and 10 weeks but they were unable to find the heartbeat at my 14 week appointment. The baby had died and measure 11 weeks and 5 days. We were in shock and not sure what to think and frankly still aren’t sure. Its such a shock and you hear of it happening to others and never quite know what you would think or feel until it happens to you. Each of reacts different and I wouldn’t say one is right or wrong. It just simply is. I don’t have anything profound to say or nay great advice. It stinks…..bottom line. I didn’t sleep much the night I found out and didn’t realize the toll it all had taken until I looked in the mirror.
My friend sent this verse for us to lean on “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
As I type the verse I can’t help but think of the song from Seeds Family Worship. We will lean on each other and the Lord during this time. The support of friends has been great.
I chose to let things happen on their own and luckily it was a short wait. We found out Tuesday and on Friday things happened and they happened quick. We were able to see the baby and I have to say it such an amazing sight. God made this tiny being in my womb. It (and I only say it because you can’t tell sex at 12 weeks) had tiny little fingers, and ribs, and thighs and I was just in complete awe when looking at it. For me it helped me say goodbye and heal and know my baby is in heaven and that someday I will meet him/her! For anyone else who has had to deal with this I am so very sorry. I pray that we as a family come away from this stronger. I know I have heard of this happening to lots of people but you don’t think through all of the details about what you have to go through. It was definitely an eye opener.