Unexpected Sadness

Yesterday I got a text from one of my best friends. She and I have been close friends since college. We were in each others weddings. We talk regularly on the phone and sometimes for hours at a time. We see each other at least yearly and we have been there for each other through thick and thin. Her text was simple her water broke and she was going into labor. I didn’t think a ton about it and then this morning when I woke up, I got the news she had a beautiful, health baby girl and it hit me. I will not be having a baby. Maybe some of you know and others don’t but you can read about my circumstances here.

My friend and I have three kids basically the same age. We got married the same year, had kids all within months of each other. This time she had gotten pregnant first and months later my husband agreed he was ready for #4 expect my baby’s heart stopped beating and hers didn’t. I see pregnant women all the time at church and really it hasn’t bothered me, but once my friend’s baby was born I was sad and jealous. Not good things to be of course. I’m so very grateful for the kids I have and I love them dearly. They do play “babies” a lot and sometimes it makes me sad because I know they want another sibling and they love to see pictures of my friend’s baby. I have another friend due with a 5th child here toward the end of the month as well. I’m truly happy for all of my friends and I don’t know what God has in store for me. Maybe we will have more kids and maybe we won’t, but it’s all a process of coping and I’m positive I’m not alone it in.

As I was showering this morning I was thinking about our perspectives on life and that was one of the key reasons I chose the name “Ample Perspectives.” The world certainly has a lot of perspectives and opinions and so do we. I will only speak for myself but I find myself often saying, “Well, if it were me I would…” but do I really know what I would do in someone else’s shoes? We can never be sure until we walk in their exact circumstances and we NEVER will. Their situation, personality, etc are unique.  It’s funny because my friend had mentioned how uncomfortable she was and just ready to be done being pregnant and I said I would totally love to take your place. I completely understand where she is coming from and remember when I was pregnant with my third how “done” I was and oh how my perspective has changed. But who knows what I would be like if I got pregnant again with another. We can all guess how we may feel or how we will react but until something happens to you, you just can’t know. I may also respond differently based on my season of life. So what’s my point? Have a ton more grace with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING they say. My friend was stating her discomfort and I was stating my longing to be pregnant. Neither was wrong or insensitive. It was just truth. Too many times we take things personally that aren’t even about us. We are selfish, sinful people and mostly we think about ourselves and our feelings. Even the most humble, I believe, still tend to think about themselves. It’s just human nature. So next time someone says something that “offends” you, think about it from their point of view or in their context and see how you would feel.

Jessica

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