Isn’t that a loaded statement? Oh, sometimes my girls just bicker and fight. They try to boss each other around. They don’t include others in what they do. They are self-fish. They get into conversations that they don’t need to be a part of. They are nosey. They think they know everything. They move too fast to get things done. They just won’t slow down. They are a reflection of me!
Why do these thing irritate me so much? Because I see myself and my own sin in their actions. The harder part I find is changing my own behavior so that I can help them change. I can’t expect them to do something that I myself cannot even model. So where does that leave us? How can we make these changes that we need to?
First, I think it comes down to being open, honest, and humble with our kids. We need to let them know that we struggle with these things too. A wise friend told me that our kids can help hold us accountable as much as we hold them accountable. It’s about the relationship and working together. I personally struggle with so many things that I can become overwhelmed in my own sin. I need to remember God’s grace in all of it. I need to know that I am not perfect and never will be. I also need to not use that as a crutch or excuse to get out of something. It is all about balance. So let’s identify some practical ways to work on this. (Note: I’m type A so if you are type B there may be a different formula :))
- Make a list of all the things you struggle with. Take your time doing this and just write down everything that comes to mind over a week. Don’t worry about it being petty or silly just brain dump as things come up.
- Take that list and look for common themes. Try to look at the bigger picture and what the issue really is. Maybe your list all boils down to priorities out of whack. Or maybe your list boils down to pride.
- Pick one theme and make an action plan to change it. Now that we have identified our problem, let’s work to come up with a solution. So if it was priorities out of whack maybe we need to list out our priorities and post them to read daily until we get a handle on them.
- Find a scripture for encouragement. Google is a beautiful tool. I also rely on wise friends to help point me to helpful scripture that can help us remember why we are wanting to make a change.
Whatever you do keep at it. Don’t throw out everything because of a bad day or even a bad week. Just get back up and try again. It just takes time.